Rewriting the Script: Becoming Whole – A Journey from Performance to Presence Part 4

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (NIV)

There comes a moment in every healing journey when you realize: I can’t go back to who I was. You see the old patterns for what they were—survival scripts. And while they may have served you for a time, they’re no longer serving the person you’re becoming.

For me, this shift came after years of trying to lead from a place of pressure and perfectionism. Once I had tasted the grace of presence—once I understood that I was loved apart from my performance—I knew I couldn’t return to business as usual.

So I started rewriting the script.

The first rewrite was internal. I stopped defining myself by my roles—pastor, father, husband, chaplain, coach—and started anchoring my identity in being a beloved child of God. From that foundation, I could move through my roles with freedom, not fear.

The second rewrite was relational. I began showing up differently—not as a fixer, but as a fellow traveler. Whether working with inmates, mentoring young men, or walking alongside fellow leaders, I no longer felt the pressure to have all the answers. Instead, I offered my presence, my story, and my scars as sacred ground for connection.

One of the most powerful shifts came when I started helping other Black men—especially returning citizens and high-capacity leaders—name their wounds, reclaim their worth, and write new stories. These brothers often carried shame they didn’t know how to name. Some were imprisoned physically, others emotionally. And they, like me, needed to hear: You are not what happened to you. You are not what you’ve done or failed to do. You are who God says you are.

Your wounds can become your witness.

I believe that with all my heart.

If God has brought you through something—no matter how messy, painful, or complicated—your story carries power. Not because it’s perfect, but because it’s real. And real stories change lives.

So let me ask you:

If you weren’t afraid, how would you rewrite your life script?

Who could benefit from your story of transformation?

How can you begin to live more from your identity than your role?

It’s not too late to change the narrative. God is still writing your story—and it’s more beautiful than you know.

God, thank You for not leaving me stuck in old scripts. Thank You for showing me who I really am—beyond the roles, beyond the wounds.Give me courage to share my story.Help me live from a place of truth, freedom, and love.Use my life to bring healing to others. Amen.

Leave a comment or journal your response to the reflection questions. I’d love to hear how God is inviting you to rewrite your script.